Presentation of Self

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I grew up going to elementary school with roughly the same friend group I would graduate high school with. When we were children, my friend group gravitated towards each other because we had the same hobbies, interests, and goals. We all started out as a group who loved to play pretend, and then as the science kids in middle school, and then finally, we became known as the ‘academic team’ group prior to graduating. I spent much of my life prior to college in a sort of idyllic social scene. All of the people I sat next to in classes, rode home with on the bus and talked to after school had the exact same opinions as me. I was comfortably boxed into this social biome that lacked any varying opinions. While this environment allowed me to make some of my closest friends, it did not prepare me for the new outlooks that college would bring me.

My first semester of college was a whirlwind. From the moment I moved into my dorm, and met my hallmates, suitemates, and resident mentor, I realized that life in college was going to be a little bit different than high school. For one thing, no one had a label for me. I was no longer ‘the academic team girl’, ‘first chair violinist’, or ‘science geek’. I was just Esha. All of my friends had gone to different colleges and that left me at USC, for the first time in almost ten years, without someone to group myself with.Feeling a bit lost, I decided to try my luck and audition for USC’s celebrated Mock Trial program. I had joined my high school's mock trial club on a whim my senior year alongside some of my closest childhood friends. The memories I had of practicing speeches and coming up with fanciful characters for the stand with one of my high school best friends, Natasha, rang clear in my mind. Very honestly, I joined the mock trial, fundamentally, in hopes that I could replicate the last fleeting memories of a close friendship I had my senior year.

A week after my original mock trial audition, I heard back from the team. I had just been placed on one of USC mock trial’s (often shortened to mock) varsity teams! I was elated, to say the least. Finally, I felt like I was one step closer to finding that unbreakable friend group, that group of people who agreed with everything I did or said or thought, that I had so missed during my first few weeks of college. I stepped into my first practice and was introduced to my team captains and the rest of my 7-person team.I quickly learned that I had very little in common with anyone from my team. One of my team captains was part of a social frat, the other one was a history major who wanted to go into archaeology, a field I knew very little about. Out of the three girls on the team, only one was a STEM major, and unlike me, she had most of her first-year classes in Swearingen. The last member of my team loved analyzing current events and unpacking political theory, two topics that hadn’t even crossed my mind prior to joining the squad. I quickly learned that my teammates and I came from all avenues. We lacked a cohesive opinion when it came to politics, our future career goals, hobbies, or even pop culture interests. I felt defeated again. Was I really supposed to spend weekends traveling and competing with a group of people whom I shared not a single commonality with?

After our second competition, I found myself enjoying hearing my teammate's perspectives, even if they differed radically from my own. I learned about the different Greek life organizations on campus and their various philanthropies from one of my captains, while the other captain, and hopeful archeologist, introduced me to my new favorite docuseries ‘Egypt’s Most Mysterious Tomb’. The girls on our team taught me that my social interests could stem past my academics! Finally, my politico teammate actively encouraged me to get involved with student government during my sophomore year and also sign up for my Honors speech and argumentation class.

The transition from my first to the second semester of college was, socially, a bit easier. I had learned very quickly that surrounding myself with people who thought and acted exactly like me was a comfort, but it was not indicative of the real world. I started to form opinions independently and grew comfortable with disagreeing and voicing alternate opinions (albeit politely) with people I interacted with. I had the start for a more diverse perspective, but I realized that by my second semester, I lacked the ability to articulate my new beliefs and perspectives. I had never had any formal training centered around voicing my opinions. Prior to registering for classes in the second semester of my senior year, I had gotten a recommendation from a mock trial peer of mine to take an honors speech and argumentation class. Initially, I thought I would take the class to simply satisfy the requirement for an honors elective. I thought nothing much of it. A chunk of the class was simple theory surrounding argumentation, debate, and public speaking. However, the second half of the class was actually presenting speeches and being graded on our rhetorical prowess. I was frightened. It was one thing to have accepted that my horizons would expand in college, but it was a whole other playing field in terms of presenting my viewpoints.The week before my first speech, I hunkered down in the library scouring the PowerPoints that my professor had given us. In mock trial, I played a character, but it was intimidating being asked to walk about in front of the class to speak on the fly about a subject that was close to me.

I broke down my task into small pieces, I started out by jotting down a list of my points. A key fact I had learned in class was that memorizing a speech or having a written ‘cheat sheet’ with exact lingo to use could often make you more nervous. After writing down my bullet points, I reserved a study room every day up until my presentation and recited my speech to various peers of mine who would study with me throughout the week. Having different people to practice my speech with every single study session brought me some novel insight into each aspect of my speech. Using this technique, through each new critique, I was learning how to battle my viewpoints while also making new friends throughout the process.

The day was finally upon me. I would be asked to go up in front of my entire honors speech and argumentation class and give a speech with on-the-fly rebuttal from my classmates and professor. I took a deep breath and walked up. For ten minutes, I fiercely defended my point, rebutted questions from classmates, and closed off my speech all without additional help from a piece of a written paper or the internet. I decided after that day, that no matter the grade I received on the assignment, I was proud of myself. With the skills, I learned from class, and the support of friends, I was able to skillfully learn the art of rhetoric and compose myself when in the ‘hot seat’.           

I came into college with the support of a tight-knit community. Behind me were friends, family, and peers I had known for ages and who would always celebrate the ideas I had, and for that I am forever thankful. However, my participation beyond the classroom in mock trials and in the classroom through my honors speech and argumentation class taught me how to defend my ideals and expand them through new horizons. I became a more fluid person, yet I was also someone grounded in her own principles and ideals. My involvement in these activities allowed me to formally present myself and what I stood for without the help of anyone else. Below you will find my first artifact, a video from my mock trial competition of me ‘in character’ defending my side's case in chief as a witness. Additionally, I have included a written speech assignment from my speech and argumentation class that demonstrates the rhetorical skill set I learned. These insights have helped me present my research in a confident and poised manner.